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小五姑娘，在迪拜超过十年的华人。英语极好，就这样一位对迪拜门儿清的姑娘。带朋友做核酸检测的时候依旧走了很多弯路，废了很多口舌。现将这位姑娘带朋友核酸检测的经历贴出，希望对大家有帮助。

本文内容来自于小五姑娘本人，胖哥略有删改。

回国难，难于上青天。

小五在迪拜工作生活了几年，英语还算可以，最近有两个来迪拜旅游的朋友要回国，让我带他们去做核酸检测。

本来以为是个翻译的活儿，后来发现根本就不是英语的事儿。这次的奇葩经历让我感触颇多，也希望能给要回国的朋友提供一些经验，供大家参考。

话说他俩历尽艰难万险，好不容易才抢到了23号阿布扎比航空（EY）直飞上海的机票，据说3万人民币一张的单程机票啊，让想回国但是没有银子的小五叹为观止。

19日中午，他俩刚抢到机票，根据EY的新规定如下，

起飞前7日要做PCR核酸检测，起飞前48小时内再做次PCR核酸和IGM血清检测。

事不宜迟，小五立马按照上面航司制定的地点，下午四点我们就到了Al Tadawi Medical Center。

跟SEHA的大帐篷、人在车里做检测不同，这边是在诊所里面做检测。

做一次核酸检测AED250，填表格-交钱-做检测，做完检测也没有收据，人就可以走了。

他们承诺24小时出报告，但是阿拉伯人的办事风格，呵呵你懂得。

排队时我还特意问了2个前台你们这可以做IGM检测吗，他们竟然不知道啥意思？！就问是Anti Body嘛，我滴娘，我一直以为IGG和IGM是血清检测的通用术语啊，好吧后来他们说不用预约，直接来做就行，我们差点信以为真了。

20日凌晨三点，我便收到了他们核酸检测是阴性的短信，但是邮箱一直没有收到检测报告。直到下午六点，已经超过24小时了，我便给客服打电话催报告。在提供了注册的手机号后，客服马上把报告发给了我。

早在2个月前带朋友在SEHA做核酸检测的经历，他当时的国航是要求72小时内的核酸检测报告。

我们天天各种发邮件和给客服打电话，老费劲了就是要不到报告。因为SEHA都是临时搭建的搭帐篷在车里做检测，朋友说去现场也没用。

当时华人都是各种吐槽。后来在这个朋友回国航班的微信群里，有个哥们说认识SEHA的内部人，收点好处费可以1个小时之内帮你拿到报告。因为时间紧迫，死马当活马医吧。

果然没有花钱的不是，给了钱，效率非常高，我花了2天时间搞不定的事情，人家半小时解决了！

话回前书，安全起见，我又给客服打电话确认下做IGM检测要不要预约。

客服的回复是：Al Tadawi Medical Center这只能做IGG检测，做不了IGM检测！

我也是服了，立马找航司清单上的其他家。第一次给SEHA打电话，客服说他们只能做PCR和DPI检测，做不了IGM。

下面那四家，两个一直电话占线打不通，一个在阿布扎比说可以做，但是我这两个朋友自己去阿布，他俩又不会英语。

与此同时，帮朋友订票的大哥说：

航司的规定今天又改了。

说在迪拜居住满14天的非阿联酋居民不用提前7天做检测了，就是说我们昨天做的检测没用了？

纳尼~我给在Mediclinic医院上班的朋友打电话，跟她咨询IGG和IGM都是血清检测到底有啥区别？

她说IGG可以检测出以前是否得过新冠，IGM可以检测出现在是否有新冠病毒。迪拜可以做IGM检测的地方很少，但是他们医院可以做，并且大使馆认可，但是他们不在航司新规定的名单里，我们也不敢贸然行动。

虽然她说上周有人拿着他们医院的报告，EY飞走了，

但是EY最近已经改了4次规定了，现在的新规定谁也不确定。我的天啊，航司一天一个新规定，检测机构的人一脸懵逼，我也是服了！

第二次给SEHA打电话，客服说他们在Mina rashid可以做IGM，不需要预约，明天十点开门可以直接去。

终于有了一个好消息啊！以防万一，我又给阿布那家打电话确认了下，他们在阿布有两个地方也可以做检测，可以加手机whatup 把地址发给我。

如果你和阿联酋的各种机构打过交道你就知道一个普遍的规律是：

一个客服一个说法。

我第三次给SEHA打电话，这次这个客服说他们可以做IGM，但是只能自己预约PCR, IGM要大使馆预约？！

我心想，每个坐飞机的人，中国大使馆还要帮忙预约嘛，老兄，这明显不太现实啊！他一本正经的跟我说了不只5次要大使馆预约才行，我客气的道谢然后把电话挂了。

跟朋友约好了明天早上10点去SEHA的Mina rashid做检测，规定上写的rashid port，跟这个不知道是不是一个地方。

我建议他俩今晚把行李都收拾好，万一明天mina rashid不能做，中午就直接过去阿布做检测。

我是个心事比较重的人，心里有点事就睡不着。早上6点我就醒了，担心他俩因为检测的问题走不了。

3万块钱的一张机票啊，如果走不了多糟心！

我加了阿布那家的whatsup，他们说在迪拜也有检测的地方，给我推荐了第三家，不用预约直接去就行。

我说之前打电话一直占线，想问他要下电话号码再确认下，然后很久回复说他们也没有迪拜检测点的电话。

然后我又给中国大使馆值班电话和EY客服打电话，确定了要去的检测机构是他们要求和认可的。

早上10点，我们按照mina rashid开门的时间准时到达，发现已经有很多车在排队了。

我们以10分钟往前挪一两个车位的速度，整整排到了下午2点。

还好我车加满油了，否则都坚持不了4个小时。终于轮到他俩了，万事先收钱，PCR和IGM一共AED260。

保安把他俩护照拿进去登记，拿回来时居然少了一本护照，找不到了？！

找了半天拿回来了，说混在其他地方了，我让他再确认下是不是这个护照也留的我的手机号，以免搞错。

做检测时，白袍说另外一个朋友的护照信息他们没有登记上，我也是服了，而且把他名字还少写了一个字母，滴汗！

我们再三强调一定要改啊，否则报告出来跟护照名字不一样，不让走就惨了！

在这提醒大家：检测中心人多，一定要检查好姓名、手机号等信息，我心想这出错概率也太大了，就收钱不会出错。

他俩在车里插完鼻子，在外面抽完血（大针头抽了一大管血），白袍把他们做检测的EPI号码贴在了护照上，方便查询，然后用检测中心的手机登记信息，姓名电话邮箱之类的，邮箱只能是gmail,hotmail等，QQ邮箱不可以。

这次我长了个心眼，留了两个工作人员的电话，万一明天拿不到报告好联系他们，他们都很友善。到此，我们终于完成了历经四个小时的核酸检测。

早上出来时以为很快，就没吃东西，做完检测3点到家我已经累趴下了。我检查了一下我的gmail邮箱，因为好久没用了，果然显示接收不到新邮件，我用在线版重设置了密码，坐等最新的检测报告。

看完小五姑娘的经历，胖哥觉得小五太不容易了：

繁琐的流程+朝令夕改的规定+本地那种错误百出流程+永远打不通的电话+一人一个说法的客服。

够够的，回国太难了。

希望小五的朋友们一切顺利，希望迪拜的同胞们一切安好。

欢迎关注公众号：胖哥在迪拜

本文转自公众号：胖哥在迪拜

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